And in Other News 03/31/08…

“Old Forge Man Arrested for Dumping Cat Litter“
A Pennsylvania man was arrested for dumping hundreds of bags of dirty cat litter all across a three city-wide area.  Police say Donald Klens, a 63 year old man, was very tough to catch and that for two months they hid in bushes, dressed in full camouflage, waiting to catch Mr. Klens in the act.  Now that Klens is locked away, police can now begin looking for murderers, rapists, and car jackers.

“Reindeer Dies of Snowmobile Stress“
Oh dear fucking God….

“If You’re Wearing Lingerie That Makes You Feel Glamorous, You’re Halfway There to Turning Heads“
This story was written by a crackhead.  Honestly, it was.  Read it and tell me a crackhead didn’t write it.  I dare you.