Mister Family Scares Me

Mister Family, the fruit-loop who is waging war against a local strip club, scares the living piss out of me.  If he were able to have his way, this world would be a very dark, dangerous place.  Think burning people for witchcraft and having religious police arrest people for blasphemy.  Dark Ages, Medieval type shit.

Now, I’m not about to accuse someone of being a crazy, religious extremist without proof.  Below are some actual quotes that I’ve taken directly from Mister Family’s blog.

Call me crazy (because I am), but I’m praying to that end. Please join me in that prayer.
-Mister Family November 21, 2006

In the same spirit, I too would like to help them celebrate their Grand Opening.  We will be happy to send your wife or girlfriend a beautiful color photo, suitable for framing, of your vehicle while at the Grand Opening Celebration!!!  It’s the least we could do to help kick off the opening of Luzerne County’s newest den of iniquity.  Just send us your request via e-mail and we’ll get right back to you.
-Mister FamilyApril 19, 2006

I am permitted to eat a steady diet of M&M’s and nothing else.  I enjoy M&M’s and there’s no law against me eating them.   Therefore, according to the logic of some, it would be perfectly fine for me to only eat M&M’s because I wouldn’t be breaking any laws.  The truth of the matter is this…..if I actually did that I would be harming my body and robbing myself of the nutrition that I need.  It is permissible for me to eat M&M’s, but it isn’t beneficial.
-Mister FamilyApril 12, 2006

Mr. Scalzo, I’m typing this with tears in my eyes.  I promise you before God Himself, that if you will consider turning Gentlemen’s Club 10 into a family friendly business, I will do EVERYTHING in my power to encourage the Luzerne County community to stand with you.
-Mister FamilyApril 11, 2006

Lawyers are great, aren’t they?
-Mister FamilyApril 5, 2006

This isn’t just a problem in Wilkes-Barre Twp., but all throughtout the country.  As the moral fabric of our nation unravels, this problem will continue to expand.  Ultimately, unless the Lord changes our hearts, I’m afraid that we can expect much more of this.
-Mister FamilySeptember 1, 2006

So, as you can plainly see (and as Mister Family admitted to in that first quote…), Mister Family is a complete and total madman.  He probably drinks his own urine and sodomizes chickens.  Really, he’s that crazy.  He talks a lot about, “Changing our hearts…”.  He’s admitted that he’s willing to use blackmail and intimidation in order to change your hearts.  And if that doesn’t work….he will sodomize you with a broomstick while he recites passages from Revelations.  Mister Family isn’t just an angry Christian, he is a self professed crazy person who is hiding in the shadows.  A lot like Jack the Ripper used to do.

-CHEek
dan@sockpuppetsfromhell.com

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