Summer’s almost over, weather’s getting colder. It’s a very depressing month. We here at Sock Puppets from Hell understand your plight. So here’s a drink that you can’t help but love. No matter how foul a mood you’re in, no matter how bad things get; nothing stands in the way of the joyous feeling you get from sucking back a Dirty Martini.
There are many recipes you can go by, but the ingredients are the same.
1. Vodka (spare yourself and buy top shelf. Trust me.)
2. Vermouth (optional, but a great addition.) I prefer dry, but sweet works too.
3. Olive juice
4. Olives (my favorites are available at the liquor store and are soaked in vermouth. I also like the garlic stuffed. But here, you are free to choose.) Otherwise, regular queen manzillas work.
I’ve been quite criticized about my own recipe for mixing these devilish bastards, mostly by bartenders. But typically, those who actually taste my martinis have no complaints. The Sandman got totally trashed on them last New Year’s. He was sucking them back like they were going out of style. The Puppet Master and I had a great deal of fun drawing on him with permanent markers.
It’s been suggested that my personal recipe is too strong. Fuck them. I like strong. If you don’t, find another recipe online or add water or something. Here it is:
1. Martini glasses
4. 2oz shot glass (a.k.a. double)
5. Martini Picks (tooth picks work in a pinch)
Fill the shaker with ice. Slice or chop (depending on your preference) two olives and put them in your glass. Spritz the glass with vermouth. Pour 8oz (4 shots) of vodka (again, top shelf. I prefer either Grey Goose or Smirnof.) to the shaker. Add 1oz (1/2 shot) of vermouth and 2oz of olive juice. Shake well. Pour into the glass and garnish with olives. I usually stake 3. Each shaker should make 1 ½ to 2 glasses. Cheers.
-Rob “Reverend Thor” Bresser