Archive for July, 2008

In case you haven’t noticed….

Posted in Drink of the Month with tags , , , , , on July 28, 2008 by reverendthor

There is no “Rob Bresser’s DOM” for July 2008.  This is due to personal issues I’ve had to tolerate in my professional life.  I apologize for the lateness of this posting, I attempted to pass this month’s responsibility on to more available hands….  My bad.

Rest assured, the DOM should return next month.  I hope.

~The Rev

Amy Winehouse Says…

Posted in Fun with Celebrities with tags , , , on July 24, 2008 by Dan Cheek

Amy Winehouse

“Hello, children.  My name is Amy Winehouse and I would like you to buy all of my shitty fucking CDs so I can build up enough money to develop a drug addiction so powerful that it will scare the Rolling Stones.  Thanks.”

Wii own your soul!

Posted in Game On with tags , , , , , , , , on July 22, 2008 by gamelord

With Doc Sanity covering Microsoft, and my review of Sony done, it’s time for the big dog.  Yes, according to NPD ratings The Nintendo Wii is the top selling video game console in America. To drive this point home, the Wii sold 700,000 units in the past 3 months. Those are numbers completely unheard of outside of the holiday season. But let’s face it, you’re not looking for numbers, let’s hear about the games.

Now there was a bit of a disappointment in that there were no huge games announced, no Mario or Zelda, but there was still plenty to get excited about. The first show of the conference was Shaun White Snowboarding, a game that will utilize the balance board to what looked surprisingly smooth.  Next up was the next installment in a popular franchise, Animal Crossing: City Folk is on its way and will feature a 24 hour real time clock and come packaged with the Wiispeak peripheral. Shying away from a headset set up, Wiispeak is a community microphone and speaker so where your character is, you’ll hear people around you as if you were in an actual place. To show off the diversity of the console and controllers, footage from 3 games was shown off in the form of Star Wars: Clone Wars, Rayman Raving Rabids TV Season, and Call of Duty: World at War.

As great as the Wii is, you can’t ignore Nintendo’s real money maker. The best selling video game system of all time, The Nintendo DS, made sure its double screened voice was heard. And with 20 million DS units sold in the United States alone, that’s a damn loud voice. Once again, there was no huge announcement, but a version of already infamous game Spore will be coming to the DS in the form of Spore Creatures, a New Pokemon Ranger game is slated for a November release, and a game that will turn the DS into a global cookbook are all set to come to the handheld powerhouse int he coming months. The biggest announcement for games on DS was the announcement of Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars, an entry in the popular franchise designed specifically for the DS.

Now games aren’t all that were announced. Nintendo unveiled a new attachment for the Wiimote, the Wii Motion Plus. A small square that will plug into the bottom of the Wiimote and seemingly double its sensitivity and accuracy. The Wii Motion plus will come packaged with a Wiimote jacket and Wii Sports Resort, which will include frisbee, jet skiing and sword dueling next spring.

Another aspect of a Nintendo press conference is the presence of a very important man. I’m sure you know who I mean, but the father of modern video games: Shigeru Miyamoto. And once again he did not disappoint with his unveiling of Wii Music. This game is every air bands dream come true with over 50 instruments to play including guitar, drums, saxophone, violin, of course the cowbell, and finally the appearance of the conducting game Miyamoto demonstrated two years ago. To finalize his appearance Miyamoto and a cast of others played the Mario theme in game and weren’t too bad.

Overall Nintendo did a good job, but as I said before, the lack of a Mario, Zelda, or any of Nintendo’s other iconic franchises was a bit of a let down. But Nintendo isn’t the top dog for no reason, so hopefully what they did show is just the tip of the iceberg. But to truly judge, check out Nintendo’s press conference for yourself.

Once again I’d like to thank everyone at G4 for their coverage of E3, making blog posts like this possible. I’d also like to assure you all that this isn’t the end. The press conferences was just the begining, there are loads more game news to reveal and you’re going to hear it all.

Sony on the attack!

Posted in Game On with tags , , , , , , , , on July 17, 2008 by gamelord

Well as I promised, E3 is a huge time of the year for gamers and DAMN if this isn’t a great E3. The announcements, surprises, and drool-inducing trailers are abound. I’m gonna be a busy little Game Lord and what better place to start then with the House that Sony built? Now, with Microsoft announcing that Final Fantasy XIII will be released on the 360 as well as the PS3 in America, Sony had to make sure they put on a good show. Now though we didn’t get all the information we wanted, we did get a lot of good news.

For starters, lets hit some stats. Fires the good news, Playstation 3 sales are now up 150% from this time last year, that’s a big increase, thanks in no part to Blue ray’s win of HD-DVD. The bad news however is that Sony is still losing 3.3 billion dollars from production costs. Ouch. However, the coming holiday season and beyond should definitely see that number drop.

Sony started their press conference by stating that “2007 was for hardware, 2008 is all about the software.” For those who don’t know, allow me to translate: games. Games! GAMES!! Yes Sony is upping their anti in the game department and I, for one, can’t wait. Several previously Xbox 360 exclusive games will be making their way to PS3 including musical RPG Eternal Sonata, and big time successful shooter, Bioshock. On top of that, Final Fantasy XIII Versus is going to remain a PS3 exclusive title. But fret not because that’s not all Sony is getting plenty of their own games as well. Resistance 2, sequel to the smash-hit Resistance: Fall of Man, is slated for release by the end of the year or early next year. Little Big Planet is looking better and more fun every day and, although there is no release date yet, Sony actually did their opening presentation all in a level created in Little Big Planet. And to really get the juices flowing, Sony announced that their Greatest Hits franchise make a return int he current generation. Many games will be re-released as greatest hits and retail for $29.99, these games will include, Ninja Gaiden, Motorstorm, and Assassin’s Creed.

Not to be outdone, the PS2 is still staying strong. That’s right I said the Playstation TWO. The PS2 is still considered an active console and actually has up to 130 games slated to come out this year including the new Madden and NCAA games, Lego Batman and Yakuza 2. Further, a special PS2 bundle will soon be available packaged with Lego Batman, and the Justice League movie, retailing at $149.99.

Finally we have Sony’s never-say-die handheld console, The Playstation Portable. Many people considered the PSP dead in the water, however with the PS3 connectivity, and some downloads, the PSP has became stronger then ever. Out soon will be not one but 2 bundles for the PSP, including a Madden pack and a Ratchet and Clank:Size Matters pack(which will come packaged with National Treasure 2 on UMD) Both of which will retail at $199.99. Bundles and connectivity aren’t all the PSPhas to offer. With games like Resistance: Retribution, LocoRoco 2, Patapon 2, and Valkyria Chronicles coming out, Sony’s handheld powerhouse may be primed to get more face time then some consoles did.

Now I’ve been a bit misleading, Software isn’t JUST games. It’s also features, namely: network. With Xbox Live dominating the world of online console gaming, what is Sony doing to keep up? A lot actually. With every system update more and more features are added to make the Playstation network more streamlined, smoother, and more fun. And with 180 million downloads to date already, I’m eager to see what else they can do. One such feature that will be added is a Universal log-in enabling you to acces information and mantain your account from your PS3, PSP, or even via a PC or cellphone. Another big part of the online gaming experience is downloading games. Many people already know about Home and Little Big Planet, but there’s so much more on the horizon. Ratchet and Clank Future: Quest for Booty, is slated to come out for download via the playstation network to directly continue the storyline of Tools of Destruction. On top of that games like Fat Princess, Pain Ammusement Park, Siren, and Ragdoll Kung Fu: Fists of plastic, are all set to hit the Playstation store soon.

Finally, another huge news bomb, and answer to Xbox Live’sdeal with Netflix, is sony’sannounced partnership with Disney, Lion’s Gate, Warner Brothers, 20th Century Fox, and MGM to bring movies, for purchase or rental, to the PS3 via download in regular and High Definition.

Lastly, but certainly not least, a glimpse of the future. Slated for a September release, an 80 gigabyte Playstation 3, with allt he workings of the current 40 gigabyte version, will hit shelves for $399.99, look for these to be BIG this Christmas season. Also set for release this year are SOCOM US Navy Seals: Confrontation, Guitar Hero World Tour, and Killzone 2. Oh, and if that’s not enough to make you curse time for moving slowly. Set for early next year: God of War III. Get ready Microsoft and Nintendo, looks like Sony is looking to take back the glory they once had. To see Sony’s press conference in its entirety, click here.

I would like to send out a big thank you to Adam Sessler, Morgan Webb, Kevin Pereira, Olivia Munn, and all the X-Play and Attack of the Show, crew, and just G4 in general, for making it possible to get these E3 updates as soon as they happen.

Two Years and Two Days Later…

Posted in SPFH News with tags , , on July 15, 2008 by Dan Cheek

Two Years and Two Days Later
Yup, two years (and two days) ago, Sock Puppets From Hell went live.  And what had started out as a website dedicated to featuring short stories featuring The Sock Puppets From Hell has evolved into so much more.  Today, the website is one of the most prolific dark/twisted/weird/erotic humor websites on the Internet.  And, yes, it still features short stories about the Sock Puppets From Hell.

So, going forward, I would like to promise you, loyal reader, this: will continue to represent everything that is wrong with humanity.  We will continue to talk about sock puppets, alcohol, sex, strippers, and everything else that would make your Sunday School teacher hate us.  We will continue to push the envelope.  We will continue to set a bad example.  And we will continue to spread the insanity.

I want to thank all of the people who have made this website everything that it is.  And who appreciate it for everything that it is not.  To our loyal fans, thank you for supporting us.  To the many, many people who have sent us seething hate mail, thank you, too.  We have enjoyed pissing you off.  Thank you to everybody.  All for now.

-Dan Cheek

And in Other News 15 July 2008…

Posted in And in Other News... with tags , , , , , on July 15, 2008 by Dan Cheek

Weird News
Lion on loose may be ‘big dog
There may be an African Lion on the loose in Colorado Springs.  Or, maybe, it’s just a big dog.  So, if you are strolling down the street in Colorado Springs, you may be pounced on, killed, and eaten like a gazelle.  Or maybe you won’t.  We just don’t know.

Police: Fort Pierce woman allegedly attacked crack-smoking boyfriend with toilet seat
As if the poor guy on crack didn’t have enough problems, his girlfriend splits his head open with a toilet seat.  Note to angry girlfriends: Hitting your crackhead of a lover over the head with a toilet seat will not cure his crack addiction.  It will encourage it.

Man cuts off own head with a chainsaw after flat is earmarked to be bulldozed by developers
I really can’t think of anything to say.  I mean, fuck, the dude cut off his own head with a chainsaw.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

Posted in Game On with tags , , , , , , , , on July 14, 2008 by gamelord

Being that it’s the middle of July, I don’t think anyone is under the delusion that it is Christmas time. No: The time I am referring to is convention time. E3 time. All this week the big developers and publishers will be dropping their bombshell news of expected games, and (hopefully) wowing us with new titles. Stay tuned folks, this is gonna be good.