Obviously, when you put up a site like “Sock Puppets From Hell”, you get a lot of questions. In an effort to address some of the more common inquiries we get, we set up this page. Weeeeee!
Why Sock Puppets?
Why not? Sock Puppets are fun, freaky, amusing, and strangely erotic. Yes. I just referred to a Sock Puppet as “erotic”. I am a bad person…
Sock Puppets From HELL. Are you a bunch of satanists?
No. We do not worship Satan. He worships us. We, as a matter of fact, worship Midget Porn.
I’m a musician. How can I have my music featured on your page?
Simple. Contact one of the Puppet Staff and we’ll hook you up. Probably. Unless you suck. For all the details, click HERE.
Your site and everything you represent offends me. Where do I send the hate mail?
You can address all hate mail to Dan CHEek. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. We get a LOT of hate mail, so it may take him a while to respond. In the meantime, write your Congress person or government representative.
I have a Sock Puppet. Can I get it featured on the site?
Sure. We’d love to show off pictures of your Sock Puppets. Send them our way and we’ll make it happen.
I run a website. Will you guys link to my site?
Uh….maybe. We just don’t link to any old site. Send us the link, and if we like what we see, we’ll link to you. If not, we won’t.
What in the name of Holy Shit were you guys thinking when you came up with this site?
Nothing intelligent, actually. I don’t remember the EXACT conversation that sparked the idea for the site, probably because I was drunk. For more info on this, click HERE.
I’m 17 years of age or younger. Should I be looking at your site?
Probably not. Your brain isn’t fully developed yet, so you may be easily influenced by our frequent use of harsh language, sexually explicit images and descriptions, random acts of unjustifiable violence, and other offensive material.
I’m a parent and my kid is all fucked up. Are you responsible for this?
Nope. Keep looking, though, I’m sure you’ll figure out who screwed up raising your kid sooner or later.
No, for real, are you guys a bunch of Satan worshipers?
NO! Jesus Christ, we don’t worship Satan! Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but we DON’T WORSHIP THE DEVIL!!! Unless you’re a hot girl, 18 years or older, and find that kind of thing sexy. Then, yeah, whatever.
Who are you guys?
Excellent question. Details HERE.
I like your site. Can I link to it?
Yup. Have at it.
I’m interested in advertising on your site. Who do I contact?
Dan Cheek. E-mail him at email@example.com.
I like the music on the site. How do I get more of it?
Check out the Sock Puppet Soundtrack Page. It lists all of the bands featured on our site and has their contact information as well. Just drop them a line, or follow the links that are provided in each of their profiles, and you’ll be all set.
What company hosts this site?
Wordpress hosts the site and so far they’ve done a pretty good job at it. If you wanna set up a website of your own, I’d recommend WordPress.
I’m Paris Hilton and I am PISSED at you guys for LOTS of reasons. What should I do?
Well, we do insult the hell out of you and your god-awful CD, so we completely understand you hating us. As for what you should do, I don’t know, sue us or something.
Would any members of the Puppet Staff be interested in attending an event/bar opening/whatever?
Possibly. Drop us a line and let us know the details.