Archive for police
“Missing Cruise Ship Passenger“
A 39 year old woman is missing from a cruise ship. Her boyfriend told authorities that she had become “agitated” and then jumped off of the cruise ship. Because, y’know, when you’re agitated it is always best to remove yourself from the situation.
“Amtrak Officer Shot in Foot with Own Gun During Scuffle“
So this homeless woman was bugging McDonald’s to give her a refill on her coffee. They said no and she became loud. An Amtrak police officer showed up to take charge of the situation. However, while attempting to subdue the homeless woman, the cop shot himself in the foot and had to be taken away in an ambulance. Clearly, this homeless woman was a trained ninja or something.
“Recycle or Go to Hell, Vatican Warns“
The Vatican has released an updated list of the seven deadly sins, one of which apparently, is not recycling. So, to recap, the Vatican is telling people that they will go to Hell if they don’t recycle. STOP IT!